The Sunflower and the Butterfly - a Children's Story

[Bodhisattvacat]

The rain was pouring in sheets, and lightning struck the ground from
the sky. It was November in Illinois, storm season. A fresh gust of
wind from the North picked up a sunflower seed that lay on the road
and carried it to the edge of a field. The sunflower seed fell on the
ground and stayed there through the winter.

In the spring the farmer was planting corn and came across the first
tender shoots. He rolled over them with his plow. "This no-good weed,"
he mumbled, "takes the soil away from good crops." Then he continued
planting corn seeds.

The sunflower seed survived and kept growing. One day the farmer's son
was playing in the field and came across the young plant. He said,
"What is this stupid weed doing here?" He struck at it with a stick
and tore off three leaves. But the sunflower continued to grow.

One day a butterfly was flying around in the cornfield and found the
young plant. The sunflower asked the butterfly, "Why am I here?
Everyone says I am no good and keeps trying to kill me. If I am no
good, then why was I ever born?"

The butterfly hovered gently over the delicate leaves and said, "You
are a sunflower. You are in a corn field. The people here think you're
no good because they are growing corn, and they think you're a weed.
But a hundred yards from here, along the road, there are hundreds of
sunflowers. They line the road and the drivers think they're very
beautiful."

The sunflower asked, "Why am I here, where nobody wants me? Did other
sunflowers hate me?" The butterfly swept her wings around and said,
"You are lucky to be here. The other sunflowers get plucked and sold
as food. Here, you could grow up. Count your blessings."

And the sunflower praised God and grew up to be as tall as the corn.
When the farmer and his son saw it again, they marveled at it. "It
must be a sturdy weed," the farmer said, "to have grown this tall
under such conditions. We're not gonna touch it again." So they left
it alone.

When August came, the sunflower was in full bloom and following the
sun as it rose in the morning and went down at night. A butterfly came
again and said, "See? Now you're all grown. Do you like yourself now?"
"I don't know," said the sunflower. "You are beautiful," said the
butterfly to the sunflower. "You are beautiful," said the sunflower to
the butterfly. And the butterfly pollinated the sunflower.

The farmer's wife and daughter were walking in the field. The little
girl said, "Look, it's a sunflower!" "Yes, dear," said her mother,
"it's a sunflower. And it grew in a corn field even though your daddy
tried to kill all the weeds. It must be a very special sunflower."
"Let's pluck it for good luck," insisted the girl. "No dear," said her
mother, "it must have been blessed to survive what it did. Kiss
its leaves for good luck and then leave it alone."

The girl kissed the sunflower and then went home. Next morning the
sunflower said to the butterfly, "I don't want to get plucked. I did
not survive this long this far away from home that I should allow
myself to be killed." The butterfly said to the sunflower, "Everyone
dies, but if you rid your heart of darkness then you can live on in
another form." "I need to repay the farmer's family for having raised
me," said the sunflower, "and then I want to help other plants." So
the butterfly said, "OK, then let them have your seeds and your
petals, while you let your soul fly away with me."

The next night, while the mother was sleeping, the little girl went
out into the field and plucked the sunflower. She put it in a vase.
When next morning her mother found the sunflower in the little girl's
room, she got angry. She said, "This plant survives storms, winter and
your dad's plow, and you kill it. Are there not enough sunflowers
along the road, that you had to kill something so precious?"

The girl cried and became afraid. She said to her mother, "I will be
forgiven, right? I am a good girl, right?" The mother looked at her
and said, "You have to ask for forgiveness, and you have to pray."

The girl came up to the sunflower and said, "I am sorry." Then she
prayed that the sunflower live on.

The farmer saw the sunflower in his daughter's room and said, "It is
not by accident that this plant lived while we were trying to kill all
the weeds. Perhaps it is trying to tell us something. I'll build a
plot next to the corn fields where we'll be raising sunflowers." And
he cracked the plant, he took out the seeds from it and put them in
little bag to grow the next spring.

As he was plucking out the seeds, from the sunflower emerged a
beautiful butterfly. She flew away and found her friend. And together
they went on spreading her blessings and knowledge to all the flowers
that lived in the surrounding fields.

Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
http://www.geocities.com/ilya_shambat2000
http://www.geocities.com/ilya_shambat2000/poems.htm

[unknown]

Post by Bodhisattvacat
The rain was pouring in sheets, and lightning struck the ground from
the sky. It was November in Illinois, storm season. A fresh gust of
wind from the North picked up a sunflower seed that lay on the road
and carried it to the edge of a field. The sunflower seed fell on the
ground and stayed there through the winter.
In the spring the farmer was planting corn and came across the first
tender shoots. He rolled over them with his plow. "This no-good weed,"
he mumbled, "takes the soil away from good crops." Then he continued
planting corn seeds.
The sunflower seed survived and kept growing. One day the farmer's son
was playing in the field and came across the young plant. He said,
"What is this stupid weed doing here?" He struck at it with a stick
and tore off three leaves. But the sunflower continued to grow.
One day a butterfly was flying around in the cornfield and found the
young plant. The sunflower asked the butterfly, "Why am I here?
Everyone says I am no good and keeps trying to kill me. If I am no
good, then why was I ever born?"
The butterfly hovered gently over the delicate leaves and said, "You
are a sunflower. You are in a corn field. The people here think you're
no good because they are growing corn, and they think you're a weed.
But a hundred yards from here, along the road, there are hundreds of
sunflowers. They line the road and the drivers think they're very
beautiful."
The sunflower asked, "Why am I here, where nobody wants me? Did other
sunflowers hate me?" The butterfly swept her wings around and said,
"You are lucky to be here. The other sunflowers get plucked and sold
as food. Here, you could grow up. Count your blessings."
And the sunflower praised God and grew up to be as tall as the corn.
When the farmer and his son saw it again, they marveled at it. "It
must be a sturdy weed," the farmer said, "to have grown this tall
under such conditions. We're not gonna touch it again." So they left
it alone.
When August came, the sunflower was in full bloom and following the
sun as it rose in the morning and went down at night. A butterfly came
again and said, "See? Now you're all grown. Do you like yourself now?"
"I don't know," said the sunflower. "You are beautiful," said the
butterfly to the sunflower. "You are beautiful," said the sunflower to
the butterfly. And the butterfly pollinated the sunflower.
The farmer's wife and daughter were walking in the field. The little
girl said, "Look, it's a sunflower!" "Yes, dear," said her mother,
"it's a sunflower. And it grew in a corn field even though your daddy
tried to kill all the weeds. It must be a very special sunflower."
"Let's pluck it for good luck," insisted the girl. "No dear," said her
mother, "it must have been blessed to survive what it did. Kiss
its leaves for good luck and then leave it alone."
The girl kissed the sunflower and then went home. Next morning the
sunflower said to the butterfly, "I don't want to get plucked. I did
not survive this long this far away from home that I should allow
myself to be killed." The butterfly said to the sunflower, "Everyone
dies, but if you rid your heart of darkness then you can live on in
another form." "I need to repay the farmer's family for having raised
me," said the sunflower, "and then I want to help other plants." So
the butterfly said, "OK, then let them have your seeds and your
petals, while you let your soul fly away with me."
The next night, while the mother was sleeping, the little girl went
out into the field and plucked the sunflower. She put it in a vase.
When next morning her mother found the sunflower in the little girl's
room, she got angry. She said, "This plant survives storms, winter and
your dad's plow, and you kill it. Are there not enough sunflowers
along the road, that you had to kill something so precious?"
The girl cried and became afraid. She said to her mother, "I will be
forgiven, right? I am a good girl, right?" The mother looked at her
and said, "You have to ask for forgiveness, and you have to pray."
The girl came up to the sunflower and said, "I am sorry." Then she
prayed that the sunflower live on.
The farmer saw the sunflower in his daughter's room and said, "It is
not by accident that this plant lived while we were trying to kill all
the weeds. Perhaps it is trying to tell us something. I'll build a
plot next to the corn fields where we'll be raising sunflowers." And
he cracked the plant, he took out the seeds from it and put them in
little bag to grow the next spring.
As he was plucking out the seeds, from the sunflower emerged a
beautiful butterfly. She flew away and found her friend. And together
they went on spreading her blessings and knowledge to all the flowers
that lived in the surrounding fields.
Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
http://www.geocities.com/ilya_shambat2000
http://www.geocities.com/ilya_shambat2000/poems.htm

I remember when they used to present us with stories like that when I
actually was a child.

Even though you're young, it's obvious enough that the story is not
just a story for the sake of being entertaining, but that it's one of
-those- stories, a -lecture- story. And you realize that's really all
it is, a lecture. 'You should be more this that or the other'. But
they are hoping you will be stupid enough to just gobble up the
implications of the story and it will change how you look at life
without thinking about it at all.

In fact the game they are trying to play with your head is pretty
obvious, even to a little kid. He may not understand all of the
reasons why some adults try so hard to tell them how to think and what
kind of attitudes to carry through life but he gets the general idea.
And resents it.

So if you've ever been around real little kids, you know their first
instinct will be to heckle and belittle a story like that. Not
because they're evil, demonic kids, but because they know they are
being handed a snow job, that somebody is trying, not to teach them
about life, but to tell them how they should FEEL about life. And
even though a little kid can't express that concept, at some level he
knows that just isn't right.

But you quickly learn that you get in BIG trouble for heckling a
butterflies -N- hope story. The teacher doesn't just get mad, the way
he does when everybody is being too loud, but he gets a really scary
kind of mad. EVIL mad. A little kid does not yet understand what it
means to threated somebody's -beliefs-, which is what you do when you
react to the teacher's butterflies -N- hope story in any way but to
beam and become filled with light -N- hope and walk out completely
transformed.

So as is always the case when somebody's beliefs are threatened, the
teacher concludes that a little kid who heckles the butterflies -N-
light story is EVIL. A really BAD kid.

And as a little kid you realize this can lead to very bad trouble.
Not putting-your-head-down-on-your-desk or staying-after-school
trouble, but getting-transferred-to-the-retard-class or worse kind of
trouble. Really scary trouble.

So the little kid learns to bite his tongue. (Well, most of them, the
rest are the ones who -do- wind up getting transferred to the
'troubled children' class or diagnosed ADD).

It's a case of the simplicity of a child's instincts being superior
and more accurate than those of the adult teacher who believes in
these magic stories that will transfigure a child with their message
of HOPE and LIGHT and BUTTERFLIES.

[archaeopteryx]

Post by unknown
...
It's a case of the simplicity of a child's instincts being superior
and more accurate than those of the adult teacher who believes in
these magic stories that will transfigure a child with their message
of HOPE and LIGHT and BUTTERFLIES.

So why do the adults do it, do you think? Is it just idle power
tripping and sadism, or is it connected to some larger social
structure?

One thing I've noticed since I started studying humans is their
attraction to lies and bullshit... look at the recent U.S.
elections. I suppose a taste for that sort of thing has to
be inculcated by force and threats, since there would be a lot
of evolutionary pressure toward a preference for truth in
intelligent beings, so, as you say, untutored children know
a story like that we're discussing is some kind of hostile
imposition.

[unknown]

On Thu, 25 Nov 2004 11:19:36 -0500, archaeopteryx

Post by archaeopteryx

Post by unknown
...
It's a case of the simplicity of a child's instincts being superior
and more accurate than those of the adult teacher who believes in
these magic stories that will transfigure a child with their message
of HOPE and LIGHT and BUTTERFLIES.

So why do the adults do it, do you think? Is it just idle power
tripping and sadism, or is it connected to some larger social
structure?
One thing I've noticed since I started studying humans is their
attraction to lies and bullshit... look at the recent U.S.
elections. I suppose a taste for that sort of thing has to
be inculcated by force and threats, since there would be a lot
of evolutionary pressure toward a preference for truth in
intelligent beings, so, as you say, untutored children know
a story like that we're discussing is some kind of hostile
imposition.

Well I think they are trying to help, when they do that. Trying to
impart insight to a child.

Personally I think most children desperately want to learn about life.
They know they lack the tools to cope effectively with life. Adults
seem to tend to view children and childhood as a kind of Golden Age,
the best time in life. But my own memory of childhood is I found it
frustrating because I was at the mercy of the adult world and of the
world in general. Most kids around me seemed to feel the same way,
and most kids I meet now seem to feel that way. Some of my best
memories in childhood were those rare adults (I mean, like 3 or 4 in
my whole life) who were really willing to talk to me one on one, so
that I had the chance to ask real questions and get real answers
without feeling like an idiot.

But most adults are taking a different approach. They want to tell
the child how to BE. They think it is valid and helpful to the child,
they think it is a form of teaching. They think the way to teach the
child is to make the child more like them, the teacher. They try to
impress on the child how to feel about things. They pressure the
child to be a little miniature copy of the teacher.

And that's just awful to a child.

The comparison to this last election is apt, IMO. I think this last
election really was about the same thing in politics. I think the
current conservative movement, especially as represented by the
current administration and the religious right, are all about trying
to impose on people how to be, how to live. WHO to be.

Watching the religious right, fighting to make one set of religious
beliefs the "national" religion, trying to legislate religious
beliefs, gives me the same sense of revulsion and frustration that
most adults did when I was a kid.

[Don Radford]

Post by unknown
But most adults are taking a different approach. They want to tell
the child how to BE. They think it is valid and helpful to the child,
they think it is a form of teaching. They think the way to teach the
child is to make the child more like them, the teacher. They try to
impress on the child how to feel about things. They pressure the
child to be a little miniature copy of the teacher.
And that's just awful to a child.

Not all of them, apparently. Some seem to prefer a comforting fairy tale
and the warm fuzzy feelings they might impart. And then they grow up to
live in a pile of trash with rotting teeth and reeking of Jack Daniels
while their significant other beats the crap out of them every now and
again -- but as long as someone says "I love you" with enough sincerity
to feed the Warm Fuzzy fix, it's all good.

[Bodhisattvacat]

Post by unknown
I remember when they used to present us with stories like that when I
actually was a child.
Even though you're young, it's obvious enough that the story is not
just a story for the sake of being entertaining, but that it's one of
-those- stories, a -lecture- story. And you realize that's really all
it is, a lecture. 'You should be more this that or the other'. But
they are hoping you will be stupid enough to just gobble up the
implications of the story and it will change how you look at life
without thinking about it at all.
In fact the game they are trying to play with your head is pretty
obvious, even to a little kid. He may not understand all of the
reasons why some adults try so hard to tell them how to think and what
kind of attitudes to carry through life but he gets the general idea.
And resents it.
So if you've ever been around real little kids, you know their first
instinct will be to heckle and belittle a story like that. Not
because they're evil, demonic kids, but because they know they are
being handed a snow job, that somebody is trying, not to teach them
about life, but to tell them how they should FEEL about life. And
even though a little kid can't express that concept, at some level he
knows that just isn't right.
But you quickly learn that you get in BIG trouble for heckling a
butterflies -N- hope story. The teacher doesn't just get mad, the way
he does when everybody is being too loud, but he gets a really scary
kind of mad. EVIL mad. A little kid does not yet understand what it
means to threated somebody's -beliefs-, which is what you do when you
react to the teacher's butterflies -N- hope story in any way but to
beam and become filled with light -N- hope and walk out completely
transformed.
So as is always the case when somebody's beliefs are threatened, the
teacher concludes that a little kid who heckles the butterflies -N-
light story is EVIL. A really BAD kid.
And as a little kid you realize this can lead to very bad trouble.
Not putting-your-head-down-on-your-desk or staying-after-school
trouble, but getting-transferred-to-the-retard-class or worse kind of
trouble. Really scary trouble.
So the little kid learns to bite his tongue. (Well, most of them, the
rest are the ones who -do- wind up getting transferred to the
'troubled children' class or diagnosed ADD).
It's a case of the simplicity of a child's instincts being superior
and more accurate than those of the adult teacher who believes in
these magic stories that will transfigure a child with their message
of HOPE and LIGHT and BUTTERFLIES.

Well, yeah. In the Soviet Union they used to do that if kids did not
immediately accept Communism. If your values differ from those of your
teacher, he will most often mistreat you. I've had teachers with values
similar to mine and ones with values different from mine, and it very
well showed.

I happen to think that the values I articulate in this story are good
ones. It is about seeing differences in people and recognizing worth
in people and things that are unlike yourself. It is about life taking
and surviving in many different forms, many of them new and, in one's
environment, unfamiliar. It is about perseverance and will to live; it
is also about helping another person to see her potential and allow it
to blossom. It is about goodwill, wisdom and generosity. And I do not
see how these values can possibly be wrong.

[unknown]

Post by Bodhisattvacat
I happen to think that the values I articulate in this story are good
ones. It is about seeing differences in people and recognizing worth
in people and things that are unlike yourself. It is about life taking
and surviving in many different forms, many of them new and, in one's
environment, unfamiliar. It is about perseverance and will to live; it
is also about helping another person to see her potential and allow it
to blossom. It is about goodwill, wisdom and generosity. And I do not
see how these values can possibly be wrong.

Yeah good point, somebody would have to be just fundamentally wrong to
not want you to impress them with values like that.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
--------------------------
"i don't know why, but in venezuela,
when there's a band that's really popular,
they make shoes about it."---m trujillo
---------------------------

[nenslo]

Post by Bodhisattvacat
I happen to think that the values I articulate in this story are good
ones. It is about seeing differences in people and recognizing worth
in people and things that are unlike yourself. It is about life taking
and surviving in many different forms, many of them new and, in one's
environment, unfamiliar. It is about perseverance and will to live; it
is also about helping another person to see her potential and allow it
to blossom. It is about goodwill, wisdom and generosity. And I do not
see how these values can possibly be wrong.

Oh, you are one of those people who "care" about things. We have
derisive names for that sort of person. Caring about things is a form
of weakness which reduces one's ability to profit from the suffering of
others. YOU'RE FIRED.

[Frere Jean Bleu]

Post by Bodhisattvacat
The rain was pouring in sheets, and lightning struck the ground from
the sky. It was November in Illinois, storm season. A fresh gust of
wind from the North picked up a sunflower seed that lay on the road
and carried it to the edge of a field. The sunflower seed fell on the
ground and stayed there through the winter.

<snip>

I'm so inspired........ I've changed my desktop theme.

http://gallery.colofinder.net/tech-funny/horror

Fr J B

[unknown]

On Thu, 25 Nov 2004 21:13:08 +1100, Frere Jean Bleu

Post by Frere Jean Bleu
I'm so inspired........ I've changed my desktop theme.
http://gallery.colofinder.net/tech-funny/horror

That's so POIGNANT!

[paco]

If bodhidharma and guan yin got in a fight who would win?

Post by Bodhisattvacat
The rain was pouring in sheets, and lightning struck the ground from
the sky. It was November in Illinois, storm season. A fresh gust of
wind from the North picked up a sunflower seed that lay on the road
and carried it to the edge of a field. The sunflower seed fell on the
ground and stayed there through the winter.
In the spring the farmer was planting corn and came across the first
tender shoots. He rolled over them with his plow. "This no-good weed,"
he mumbled, "takes the soil away from good crops." Then he continued
planting corn seeds.
The sunflower seed survived and kept growing. One day the farmer's son
was playing in the field and came across the young plant. He said,
"What is this stupid weed doing here?" He struck at it with a stick
and tore off three leaves. But the sunflower continued to grow.
One day a butterfly was flying around in the cornfield and found the
young plant. The sunflower asked the butterfly, "Why am I here?
Everyone says I am no good and keeps trying to kill me. If I am no
good, then why was I ever born?"
The butterfly hovered gently over the delicate leaves and said, "You
are a sunflower. You are in a corn field. The people here think you're
no good because they are growing corn, and they think you're a weed.
But a hundred yards from here, along the road, there are hundreds of
sunflowers. They line the road and the drivers think they're very
beautiful."
The sunflower asked, "Why am I here, where nobody wants me? Did other
sunflowers hate me?" The butterfly swept her wings around and said,
"You are lucky to be here. The other sunflowers get plucked and sold
as food. Here, you could grow up. Count your blessings."
And the sunflower praised God and grew up to be as tall as the corn.
When the farmer and his son saw it again, they marveled at it. "It
must be a sturdy weed," the farmer said, "to have grown this tall
under such conditions. We're not gonna touch it again." So they left
it alone.
When August came, the sunflower was in full bloom and following the
sun as it rose in the morning and went down at night. A butterfly came
again and said, "See? Now you're all grown. Do you like yourself now?"
"I don't know," said the sunflower. "You are beautiful," said the
butterfly to the sunflower. "You are beautiful," said the sunflower to
the butterfly. And the butterfly pollinated the sunflower.
The farmer's wife and daughter were walking in the field. The little
girl said, "Look, it's a sunflower!" "Yes, dear," said her mother,
"it's a sunflower. And it grew in a corn field even though your daddy
tried to kill all the weeds. It must be a very special sunflower."
"Let's pluck it for good luck," insisted the girl. "No dear," said her
mother, "it must have been blessed to survive what it did. Kiss
its leaves for good luck and then leave it alone."
The girl kissed the sunflower and then went home. Next morning the
sunflower said to the butterfly, "I don't want to get plucked. I did
not survive this long this far away from home that I should allow
myself to be killed." The butterfly said to the sunflower, "Everyone
dies, but if you rid your heart of darkness then you can live on in
another form." "I need to repay the farmer's family for having raised
me," said the sunflower, "and then I want to help other plants." So
the butterfly said, "OK, then let them have your seeds and your
petals, while you let your soul fly away with me."
The next night, while the mother was sleeping, the little girl went
out into the field and plucked the sunflower. She put it in a vase.
When next morning her mother found the sunflower in the little girl's
room, she got angry. She said, "This plant survives storms, winter and
your dad's plow, and you kill it. Are there not enough sunflowers
along the road, that you had to kill something so precious?"
The girl cried and became afraid. She said to her mother, "I will be
forgiven, right? I am a good girl, right?" The mother looked at her
and said, "You have to ask for forgiveness, and you have to pray."
The girl came up to the sunflower and said, "I am sorry." Then she
prayed that the sunflower live on.
The farmer saw the sunflower in his daughter's room and said, "It is
not by accident that this plant lived while we were trying to kill all
the weeds. Perhaps it is trying to tell us something. I'll build a
plot next to the corn fields where we'll be raising sunflowers." And
he cracked the plant, he took out the seeds from it and put them in
little bag to grow the next spring.
As he was plucking out the seeds, from the sunflower emerged a
beautiful butterfly. She flew away and found her friend. And together
they went on spreading her blessings and knowledge to all the flowers
that lived in the surrounding fields.
Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
http://www.geocities.com/ilya_shambat2000
http://www.geocities.com/ilya_shambat2000/poems.htm

[Frere Jean Bleu]

One day an evil sunflower seed, fell into the earth and started to
grow, freeloading on some land belonging to the Usagra Foods Compnay
(LLC).

The land had once belonged to a traditional "farming family", but the
family's Daddy killed himself under threats of bank foreclosure,
divorce and crippling debt. He was such a silly Daddy.

The family's Mommy then sold the land quickly to Usagra who got it at
a good price. Then Mommy and her daughter Sally went to the big city
to work. There Mommy sat in a cubicle making cold calls, selling
aluminium siding. It was a fun job, Mommy got to speak to all sorts of
new and interesting people when they werer having their dinner.

Sally got to cook whatever she liked and watch as much TV as she could
before Mommy got home at 10pm. It was good in the noisy city as there
weren't as many of those pesky insects. Sally thought she was very
lucky.

Famring families were so ineffiecient and counter productive in this
new world of competetive corporate GLOBALISM. Can you say GLOBALISM
children?

Back on the farm.........

"Hooray!" said the Usagra corporate managers as they sent their
foreign minimum wage employees Minh and Deepra to plow the land for
the first crop of magic beans.

The evil little sunflower missed the first plowing as it was near the
edge of the field. Still stealing sunshine and water and nutrients
from the soil, the evil sunflower did its best to get a free ride on
the back of US shareholders. It was such a cold hearted and selfish
sunflower..

Another minimum wage employee of the Usagra Foods Company (LLC),
called Pedro, planted the special magic beans that had been given to
them by the Monsanto wizard. These beans had been many years in the
making and needed magic spray to make them work best.....

Some peoplle didn't like magic beans but just normal beans. Of course
they were silly.... we all know magic beans are better, RIGHT? The
Monsanto wizard is a KIND and BENEVOLENT wizard.

Do you know what BENEVOLENT means children?

Again, the seeding had missed the evil little sunflower. "HA, HA, HA",
said the evil sunflower.

" I'll keep getting free sunshine, free fertilizer, free water for as
long as I like. Welching off the good nature of kind and
benevolent....." (there's that word again children) ...."companies,
just like some of those freeloading "homeless people" who leech a live
a life of leisure courtesy of US taxpayers.".

But the evil little sunflower had not met its match yet. It was now
Juan's turn.

The last Usagra Foods Company (LLC) employee, Juan drove a great big
green tractor with a funny trailer. He looked silly in his puffy white
rubber suit with it funny mask and goggles. Also, Juan made strange
sounds as he was breathing just like Grandpa when he walks up too
many stairs.

So in his special suit, Juan sprayed some magic Monsnato wizard spray
which killed all the evil weeds which were stealing the magic beans'
water.

Because it was nothing but a weed. A water, sun and nutrient thief
making the magic beans sick........., the evil little sunflower had
finally been beaten. It died a slow and agonizing death as the magic
spray inhibited it's emzymes.

Another crop of magic beans had been SAVED!!!!!

"HOORAY!" said the shareholders as Usagra's stock made $27.14 and the
Monsanto wizard's stock hit $45.40 .

Meanwhile the butterfly was a greasy spot on the windshield of a great
big Ford F350 towing a caravan, owned by a pair of obese retirees from
Springfield Ohio.

THE END

[König Prüß, GfbAEV]

Post by Frere Jean Bleu
One day an evil sunflower seed, fell into the earth and started to
grow, freeloading on some land belonging to the Usagra Foods Compnay
(LLC).
The land had once belonged to a traditional "farming family", but the
family's Daddy killed himself under threats of bank foreclosure,
divorce and crippling debt. He was such a silly Daddy.
The family's Mommy then sold the land quickly to Usagra who got it at
a good price. Then Mommy and her daughter Sally went to the big city
to work. There Mommy sat in a cubicle making cold calls, selling
aluminium siding. It was a fun job, Mommy got to speak to all sorts of
new and interesting people when they werer having their dinner.
Sally got to cook whatever she liked and watch as much TV as she could
before Mommy got home at 10pm. It was good in the noisy city as there
weren't as many of those pesky insects. Sally thought she was very
lucky.
Famring families were so ineffiecient and counter productive in this
new world of competetive corporate GLOBALISM. Can you say GLOBALISM
children?
Back on the farm.........
"Hooray!" said the Usagra corporate managers as they sent their
foreign minimum wage employees Minh and Deepra to plow the land for
the first crop of magic beans.
The evil little sunflower missed the first plowing as it was near the
edge of the field. Still stealing sunshine and water and nutrients
from the soil, the evil sunflower did its best to get a free ride on
the back of US shareholders. It was such a cold hearted and selfish
sunflower..
Another minimum wage employee of the Usagra Foods Company (LLC),
called Pedro, planted the special magic beans that had been given to
them by the Monsanto wizard. These beans had been many years in the
making and needed magic spray to make them work best.....
Some peoplle didn't like magic beans but just normal beans. Of course
they were silly.... we all know magic beans are better, RIGHT? The
Monsanto wizard is a KIND and BENEVOLENT wizard.
Do you know what BENEVOLENT means children?
Again, the seeding had missed the evil little sunflower. "HA, HA, HA",
said the evil sunflower.
" I'll keep getting free sunshine, free fertilizer, free water for as
long as I like. Welching off the good nature of kind and
benevolent....." (there's that word again children) ...."companies,
just like some of those freeloading "homeless people" who leech a live
a life of leisure courtesy of US taxpayers.".
But the evil little sunflower had not met its match yet. It was now
Juan's turn.
The last Usagra Foods Company (LLC) employee, Juan drove a great big
green tractor with a funny trailer. He looked silly in his puffy white
rubber suit with it funny mask and goggles. Also, Juan made strange
sounds as he was breathing just like Grandpa when he walks up too
many stairs.
So in his special suit, Juan sprayed some magic Monsnato wizard spray
which killed all the evil weeds which were stealing the magic beans'
water.
Because it was nothing but a weed. A water, sun and nutrient thief
making the magic beans sick........., the evil little sunflower had
finally been beaten. It died a slow and agonizing death as the magic
spray inhibited it's emzymes.
Another crop of magic beans had been SAVED!!!!!
"HOORAY!" said the shareholders as Usagra's stock made $27.14 and the
Monsanto wizard's stock hit $45.40 .
Meanwhile the butterfly was a greasy spot on the windshield of a great
big Ford F350 towing a caravan, owned by a pair of obese retirees from
Springfield Ohio.
THE END

Sometimes yer the windshield, sometimes yer the bug!

They'd have been better off growing poppies.

[archaeopteryx]

Post by Frere Jean Bleu
...
The last Usagra Foods Company (LLC) employee, Juan drove a great big
green tractor with a funny trailer. He looked silly in his puffy white
rubber suit with it funny mask and goggles. Also, Juan made strange
sounds as he was breathing just like Grandpa when he walks up too
many stairs.
So in his special suit, Juan sprayed some magic Monsnato wizard spray
which killed all the evil weeds which were stealing the magic beans'
water.
Because it was nothing but a weed. A water, sun and nutrient thief
making the magic beans sick........., the evil little sunflower had
finally been beaten. It died a slow and agonizing death as the magic
spray inhibited it's emzymes.
Another crop of magic beans had been SAVED!!!!!
"HOORAY!" said the shareholders as Usagra's stock made $27.14 and the
Monsanto wizard's stock hit $45.40 .
Meanwhile the butterfly was a greasy spot on the windshield of a great
big Ford F350 towing a caravan, owned by a pair of obese retirees from
Springfield Ohio.
THE END

That's not how it ends. Here:

So in his special suit, Juan sprayed some magic Monsnato wizard spray,
but he didn't spray the sunflower enough to kill it. It just got
tougher. Then, severely intoxicated, it threw caution to the winds
and got involved in a series of three-ways with bean plants and
butterflies.

There was a lot of noisy exchanging of genes with the result that
later that year the sunflower popped off, leaving behind many, many
mutant seeds. The next year these seeds grew into enormous, stringy,
evil, butterfly-colored, vine-like pseudo-sunflowers which nothing
could kill. They propagated wildly. They strangled Juan and his
colleagues. Then they strangled the stockholders of Usagra and
Monsanto. Then they took over the world. On the last day, there
was a titanic struggle between the mutant sunflowers, Microsoft,
and Satan. And then....

[polar bear]

Post by Frere Jean Bleu
One day an evil sunflower seed, fell into the earth and started to
grow, freeloading on some land belonging to the Usagra Foods Compnay
(LLC).
The land had once belonged to a traditional "farming family", but the
family's Daddy killed himself under threats of bank foreclosure,
divorce and crippling debt. He was such a silly Daddy.
The family's Mommy then sold the land quickly to Usagra who got it at
a good price. Then Mommy and her daughter Sally went to the big city
to work. There Mommy sat in a cubicle making cold calls, selling
aluminium siding. It was a fun job, Mommy got to speak to all sorts of
new and interesting people when they werer having their dinner.
Sally got to cook whatever she liked and watch as much TV as she could
before Mommy got home at 10pm. It was good in the noisy city as there
weren't as many of those pesky insects. Sally thought she was very
lucky.
Famring families were so ineffiecient and counter productive in this
new world of competetive corporate GLOBALISM. Can you say GLOBALISM
children?
Back on the farm.........
"Hooray!" said the Usagra corporate managers as they sent their
foreign minimum wage employees Minh and Deepra to plow the land for
the first crop of magic beans.
The evil little sunflower missed the first plowing as it was near the
edge of the field. Still stealing sunshine and water and nutrients
from the soil, the evil sunflower did its best to get a free ride on
the back of US shareholders. It was such a cold hearted and selfish
sunflower..
Another minimum wage employee of the Usagra Foods Company (LLC),
called Pedro, planted the special magic beans that had been given to
them by the Monsanto wizard. These beans had been many years in the
making and needed magic spray to make them work best.....
Some peoplle didn't like magic beans but just normal beans. Of course
they were silly.... we all know magic beans are better, RIGHT? The
Monsanto wizard is a KIND and BENEVOLENT wizard.
Do you know what BENEVOLENT means children?
Again, the seeding had missed the evil little sunflower. "HA, HA, HA",
said the evil sunflower.
" I'll keep getting free sunshine, free fertilizer, free water for as
long as I like. Welching off the good nature of kind and
benevolent....." (there's that word again children) ...."companies,
just like some of those freeloading "homeless people" who leech a live
a life of leisure courtesy of US taxpayers.".
But the evil little sunflower had not met its match yet. It was now
Juan's turn.
The last Usagra Foods Company (LLC) employee, Juan drove a great big
green tractor with a funny trailer. He looked silly in his puffy white
rubber suit with it funny mask and goggles. Also, Juan made strange
sounds as he was breathing just like Grandpa when he walks up too
many stairs.
So in his special suit, Juan sprayed some magic Monsnato wizard spray
which killed all the evil weeds which were stealing the magic beans'
water.
Because it was nothing but a weed. A water, sun and nutrient thief
making the magic beans sick........., the evil little sunflower had
finally been beaten. It died a slow and agonizing death as the magic
spray inhibited it's emzymes.
Another crop of magic beans had been SAVED!!!!!
"HOORAY!" said the shareholders as Usagra's stock made $27.14 and the
Monsanto wizard's stock hit $45.40 .
Meanwhile the butterfly was a greasy spot on the windshield of a great
big Ford F350 towing a caravan, owned by a pair of obese retirees from
Springfield Ohio.
THE END

That was <sniff> beautiful.

pb

[Ore]

Frere Jean Bleu wrotenews

Post by Frere Jean Bleu
One day an evil sunflower seed, fell into the earth and started to
grow, freeloading on some land belonging to the Usagra Foods Compnay

(snip)

Post by Frere Jean Bleu
So in his special suit, Juan sprayed some magic Monsnato wizard spray
which killed all the evil weeds which were stealing the magic beans'
water.

Wow! That's bleak and Creepy! I don't think I would read that to my
child! On the other hand it is quit a creative spoof on the
original...and cynically funny.